Like a Stone

“In the five rooms of this house, half of the families walk away with heavy hearts, having sent their child away. Life is so fleeting, so ethereal, like an epiphyllum that blooms briefly, then vanishes into the wind.”

Shitou is the founder of the House of Gratitude, which provides free accommodations for financially insecure families that come to Shanghai for cancer treatment. The house occupies the first floor of a residential building near the renowned Xinhua Hospital. Over the past nine years, it has welcomed over three hundred families. 

Shitou making a presentation about medical care

Shitou has been fully devoted to this endeavor: tending to the emotional needs of the patient’s family members, scurrying from place to place in search of donations, and managing the daily operations of the house. He has stood as the pillar of the program.

When asked about what inspired him to create this program, Shitou’s voice softens, and he recalled a piece of memory - the memory of the first time he came to Shanghai.

“I came to Shanghai from Xinjiang for my son’s cancer treatment. The metropolis’ rent is overwhelming. For an entire year, our family stayed in the homes of kind-hearted people who opened their doors to us. Their kindness was what kept me from sinking into despair.”

I caught a faint tremor in his voice, a subtle yet profound wave of gratitude. It was then that I understood why the program was called The House of Gratitude - Shitou was not only honoring the help he had received but passing on the torch by helping others in the way he had once been lent a hand. It’s gratitude that’s passed on.

“In 2017, I met other families whose children were battling cancer and tumors, coming to Shanghai in seek of treatment. Just like me, they found themselves crushed under the weight of financial burdens. By that time, most hospitals had established residential charity programs, but Xinhua Hospital’s had not yet been created. So, I decided to be the one to take the first step.”

Shitou likely never imagined how this humble gesture would become his life’s work. His first step, despite encountering some start up challenges, has turned out extremely successful. 

“The work is both fulfilling and deeply traumatic,” he says quietly.

He spoke of the immense gratitude he feels for the many warming, benevolent souls he has encountered through the program. He shared that they have around three hundred long-term donors and numerous business collaborators. I was stunned by the statistic and how this metropolis with an alledged reputation of indifference actually held so many warming souls. 

“It’s also a great fortune to see children from local schools participating in our volunteer activities. Their innocent laughter brightens the unfathomable atmosphere of illness, creating a sense of lightness in the midst of melancholy.”

Yet, the joy in the house of gratitude comes along with sorrow, there are moments when the weight of life becomes too light, too hard to bear. In medicine, those with less than six months to live are referred to as terminally ill. In such cases, treatment shifts from aggressive surgeries to palliative care, focusing on pain relief rather than prolonging life. Such cases occur in the house regularly, and each case leaves an unforgettable mark on Shitou.

“But I have to stay strong,” he says resolutely. “The first few months after a cancer diagnosis are the hardest for the parents. I tell myself that I must offer all the emotional support I can.”

Like his pen name, Shitou - which means “stone” in Chinese - he aspires to be a firm, 

steady, and reassuring presence in this vulnerable community. Unshakable, persistent, and resolute, the stone seems like a perfect metaphor for Shitou’s inner spirit.

“There’s another reason I favor the figure of stones,” he explains, “A stone settles in one place, drawn by gravity. To me, there’s a similar mysterious, almost gravitational force that guides me in my journey.”

He doesn't say what this force is, yet in the steadiness of his voice, I know that it’s love and gratitude that carried him forward.

“Life is so fleeting, so ethereal. like an epiphyllum that blooms briefly, then vanishes into the wind.”

We are all but travelers, passing through. Inconspicuous like wildflowers and nothing more than flickers of light in the vast expanse of time. But some of these lights burn brightly, illuminating the way for others. These people leave their traces behind. Shitou, devoting himself to illuminating the lives of cancer patients and their families, is one such light source. 

Flickering Stars in the House of Gratitude

“To me, life is about finding a meaning within the limited time we have. None of us knows when our time will come, or whether we will leave a lasting trace behind. But I guess, blooming for once in their lifetime would be enough. My bloom, my meaning, lies with in this House of Gratitude.”

We are all but travelers, passing through. Inconspicuous like wildflowers and nothing more than flickers of light in the vast expanse of time.

“To me, life is about finding a meaning within the limited time we have. None of us knows when our time will come, or whether we will leave a lasting trace behind. But I guess, blooming for once in their lifetime would be enough. My bloom, my meaning, lies within this House of Gratitude, where I devote all I have to illuminating the lives of cancer patients and their families.”